Yeah well sometimes I get upset when I think about all the crap my family has missed out on while I grew up and how it might have been different if my dad hadn't passed when i was young but then... I remind myself that its not goof to think about the what ifs. I never had anyone there when I had to go through my step father's knee surgery ( who i love to death) or my mother's ulcer problems when she was in the hospital... or my grandfatehr passing. I never felt like anyone was there for me cause they were worring about themselves... which is fine and all don't get me wrong sometimes you gotta get yourself up to speed before you deal with other people's feelings and well... I feel like I was thrown off to deal with everything by myself when I was 10.
Im 16 now and you know I sometimes wonder ( though I know its bad) if maybe my dad WAS there with me through all those hard times. Spiritually there lifting me up like theu say in church. I think he might have helped me through the hard times when I was all alone... but still I wish I could know for sure that it WAS him and not my imagination.